Monday, October 31, 2011

Pergi...


Sebaik membuka mata, hati berbisik: Aku bukan satu-satunya!
Benar kata abang suatu masa dahulu.
Tak akan ada sesiapa yang dapat memahami keperitan yang aku tanggung melainkan mereka yang senasib denganku.
Tak akan ada sesiapa yang dapat terus bersabar apabila emosi menguasai diri ini. Mereka akan menjauh dan seboleh mungkin tidak ingin mendekati.
Tak mengapalah.
Dan untuk mereka yang pada mereka masih ada ‘hak’ku yang masih perlu kalian jelaskan, terpulanglah kepada kalian untuk melakukan apa-apa saja semahu kalian. Jelas sekali aku tidak berhak untuk bersuara apatah lagi bertanya apa-apa.
Sakit diperlakukan sewenang-wenangnya ternyata lebih sakit daripada sakit yang sedia ada. Setiap titisan darah yang mengalir ibarat lelehan darah daripada luka yang tak nampak di mata.
Hari ini aku bangkit daripada kesakitan semalam. Terkapa-kapa mencari secebis kekuatan. Bersahaja bagai tiada apa-apa yang berlaku walhal sakitnya Tuhan saja yang tahu.
Semoga Tuhan memberi kekuatan untuk aku melalui hari ini.
Mungkin lebih baik aku pergi agar aku tidak terus melukakan hati sesiapa lagi. Mungkin aku tidak akan kembali lagi kerana kesakitan ini terlalu mencengkam. Hati aku kuat mengatakan bahawa aku tidak diperlukan lagi. Tetapi akan aku tunaikan janji itu semampunya. Hati ini juga kuat merasakan tiada sesiapa pun akan peduli bila aku telah tiada.

Monday, October 24, 2011

Make It Up?

All the years I have waited for them to “make it up to me” and all the energy I expended trying to make them change [or make them pay] kept the old wounds from healing and gave pain from the past free rein to shape and even damage my life. And still they may not have changed. Nothing I have done has made them change. Indeed, they may never change. Inner peace is found by changing myself, not the people who hurt me. And I change myself for myself, for the joy, serenity, peace of mind, understanding, compassion, laughter, and bright future that I get.
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Sunday, October 23, 2011

When You Love Someone

When you love someone, truly love them, friend or lover, you lay your heart open to them. You give them a part of yourself that you give to no one else, and you let them inside a part of you that only they can hurt - you literally hand them the razor with a map of where to cut deepest and most painfully on your heart and soul. And when they do strike, it’s crippling - like having your heart carved out.... It leaves you naked and exposed, wondering what you did to make them want to hurt you so badly when all you did was love them. What is so wrong with you that no one can keep faith with you? That no one can love you? To have it happen once is bad enough… but to have it repeated? Who in their right mind would not be terrified of that? 
Ismah Beach Resort
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Saturday, October 15, 2011

From Our Greatest Suffering

Keep in mind, at all times,
that we grow the most
from our greatest suffering.
As we go through it, it hurts.
But as we move through it, it also heals.
When a jug of water falls
to the floor and cracks,
what was hidden within begins to pour out.
When life sends you one of its curves,
remember that it has come
to help crack you open
so that all the love, power and potential
that have been slumbering within you
can be poured into the world outside you.
And, like a fractured bone,
we do become stronger in the broken places....
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Is It?

So what do you do when the person you love is the reason behind all your pain? When things aren't the same anymore and you constantly see yourself striving to maintain a perfect relationship? When you no longer trust that person because their words continuously contradict their actions? Have you ever felt this unbearable pain in your chest, but think to yourself that the pain is worth it because in the end you are still with that person? Whenever they are out, you have a million ideas clustered in the back of your mind. You try your best to trust them, but for some reason you just can't. You want them to do little sweet meaningful things, but yet they don't. You find yourself so infatuated with this thing we call "love" that you isolate yourself from everyone and everything you once loved. But in the end, is it really worth all the trouble and sacrifice?.... Is it?

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Friday, October 14, 2011

$#@&^%

I love everybody.
Some I love to be around.
Some I love to avoid.
And others I'd like to punch on the face!
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Monday, October 10, 2011

Have The Courage

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become.
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Thursday, October 6, 2011

Suffered Enough

I think I’ve given the best I could to the people despite what had happened. I never asked for appreciation or recognition for what I’ve done but please do not hurt me with those names. The names which left several mark in my life. Neither I hate them nor I can’t work with them but please do not raked up the past. I’ve suffered enough.
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Monday, October 3, 2011

All About My Journey

It's about enrollment... About reaching for the impossibilities and achieving them despite all odds... It's about making a difference for others and myself... About making a stand for my life and what I believe in...It's about exploring possibilities when I want to achieve my dreams... About support that are given when I asked... It's about being passionate for life...mine and others....
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